You might want to start with my poem. This post is an expansion of it.
Last semester in my Children’s Literature class, we read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It was really awesome. I’d been looking forward to it since day one.
However, reading it was not without heated debate. One of these debates was when we discussed the mirror of erised. Some people thought it only shows a person one desire, which as you probably already know, is their deepest. Others thought it could show multiple deep desires.
Personally, I fall into the latter camp. People can have multiple desires, and all of them can run deep. I have some desires that run so deep they scare the crap out of me. My friend assures me they’re not all that weird, but years of trying to hide who I was still make them hard for me to accept. Let’s just say that for awhile, I was not the openly nerdy person you may know me as today.
However, recent events have given me more things in common with Harry Potter himself. When he finds the mirror, he sees his parents. His deepest desire is to know them, and by extension, to be loved. We all know the Durselys never showed him any love; their favorite pastime is to pretend he doesn’t exist.
I recently lost my grandfather to complications from pneumonia. I think we all knew it was going to happen, but no one in my family wanted to think about it. No one likes to think about death. It really scares the crap out of me.
Now that both grandpa and grandma are gone, I’m clueless. I have no idea what to do. I want more time with them. I had a lot of good times with them in life, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. I don’t think it will ever be enough. If I sat in front of the mirror like Harry did right now, I would see Grandma Pat and Grandpa Rocco. They were the best grandparents a kid could ever ask for. They’re together now, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easier for the loved ones they left behind. It makes me miss both of them even more.
I will always love them. There’s no need for “After all this time?” No one expects that I would ever stop. I’m still searching for closure.