1998.  I was four years old.  Disney’s remake of The Parent Trap starring Lindsay Lohan came out.  And I was obsessed with it.

My mom and I were reminiscing one day, and we happened to talk about the movie.  Which brought up my favorite scene and my favorite song.

I wanted to be Lindsay Lohan.  Specifically, I wanted to be Hallie.  Trade places with my long-lost twin sister, hang out with my mom at one of her photo shoots and photo bomb the bride?  Um, YES PLEASE!

The song in the photo shoot scene is “Never Let You Go” by Jakaranda.  Lately, I’ve been listening to it nonstop.  I tried to download it, but it’s not on iTunes, so I have to play it through YouTube.  It’s annoying.

Even though I love the song now as much as I did back then, it’s bittersweet.  It reminds me of the innocence I once had.  I had a good relationship with my mom.  I was happy.

As I’ve gotten older, my relationship with my mom – both my parents for that matter – has been strained.  We don’t see eye to eye, and we have trouble communicating in general.

How do I reclaim my innocence?  Is it even possible?  I want it to be.  I really want it to be.

(You can listen to the audio here)

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