One Last Time

One last time,

Relax, have a drink with me

One last time.

Let’s take a break tonight 

And then we’ll teach them how to say goodbye, to say goodbye.

You and I.

If there’s a reason I don’t seem enthusiastic about graduating college in a few weeks, it’s not because I don’t want to enjoy myself and be excited.  I wish I was excited; people would stop questioning my mood.  However, it’s not that simple.

Randolph-Macon College in Ashland, Virginia has been my home for the last four years.  It hasn’t been easy, but somehow I’ve made it to the finish line.  I’ve made some great friends and learned from amazing professors who’ve become my role models.  

I don’t know how to let them go; I don’t know how to say goodbye.  Can Christopher Jackson come over and teach me or something?  Because just looking at the lyrics for “One Last Time” from Hamilton is making me tear up. 

 It’s bittersweet.  As much as I don’t want to leave, I think I’m ready for the next step.  And besides, if I never left undergrad, how could I go to grad school?  How could I do more with my life?  I couldn’t.

It’s not like I’m not going to keep in touch with people.  Hopefully I’ll be able to keep in touch with my professors.  After all, they’re the main reason I don’t want to leave in the first place.  I’ve been able to turn to them for support when I’ve needed it – and believe me, I’ve needed a lot.  I’d even go so far as to consider them my friends.

So again, it’s not that I’m moody on purpose.  I just don’t quite know how to process what I’m feeling right now.