I’ve never liked change. I don’t think anyone ever does. Sure, I’m excited for my future, but that’s different. I’ve always had a chip on my shoulder about doing things the way everyone else does them. I don’t want anything special to make me stand out.
I’ve gotten better at accepting small changes that I know will help me in the long run. But there are some changes that I didn’t see coming – or changes I knew were coming – that leave me shaken.
And I’m frustrated. First, I realized that my high school English teacher left the school when I went back for my cousin’s graduation. I had no idea that was coming. When I talked about it with my psychologist, she simply said “People move on”. Yes, I understand that, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. She was the person who inspired my English major in college. I don’t think I will ever forget about her. It’s not easy to “move on” when I didn’t see something like that coming.
Leaving college was even harder. I had some great professors, and my school felt like home. Not just my home away from home. I was talking about how much I missed it because my professors were so good to me, and my psychologist said “You’ll find new mentors”. Excuse me? It’s not that easy. That’s not how it works. School was – still is, for that matter – an extension of my family. My professors saw my potential and encouraged me. That’s hard to find sometimes. Yes, I know things will change and I’ll meet new people who will help me get where I want to be, but my undergraduate professors will always stay with me. I hope they don’t mind me going back to pay them a visit.