Oh, I think that I found myself a cheerleader, she is always right there when I need her.
Back in April, we had Camptown at my school. Well, part of it, anyway. They had to reschedule all the games and rides because it was raining cats and dogs outside.
But the Sage the Gemini Concert was still a go. They moved it to the gym because it was still raining. I got myself a front row seat at first, but some of the school events organizers told me I could move if I wanted to. I decided it would make sense to go upstairs on the track; I wouldn’t get trampled.
So I found myself upstairs on the track. I tried to live stream video from my Facebook page, but it kept buffering, so it wasn’t really worth it.
I had a nice bird’s-eye-view, but the acoustics were horrible; I could barely hear anything. I heard music, but I couldn’t hear the words. What I did hear, though, was good.
I’ll have to go back and check out his music.
Towards the end of the semester in my Introduction to International Film class, we watched Slumdog Millionaire. I was excited to see it because I remembered one of the songs, Jai Ho. I was too young to see the movie when it first came out, but they used the song in a promo for the soap opera All my Children, which I did watch. Two of the main characters, Kendall and Zach Slater, got pretty heated on the couch during the song. I’m not sure I ever saw the episode, but I never forgot the song.
I didn’t think I’d have to wait until the end of the end of the movie to hear it though. That was kind of disappointing. I didn’t know there were two different versions either. In the commercial for All my Children, they used the English version by the Pussycat Dolls. In the movie, they used an Indian version of it. I like both versions, but I’m partial to the English version. Who knew All my Children would come back into my life? I’d stopped watching it ages ago, and I thought it was gone forever once it was cancelled. Apparently not.
Two years ago, at the beginning of my sophomore year in college, I had a panic attack that lasted for days, although I didn’t know what to call it at the time. I thought it was just my nerves. It got so bad that when my mom came up to visit me, I didn’t want her to leave.
Last night, I didn’t quite have a panic attack, but it was definitely anxiety. I cried, and as usual, I turned to music to help me calm down. I couldn’t just play anything though; most of the songs I have on my phone remind me of something in some way and trigger feelings, which I definitely didn’t need more of.
I remembered I also had iHeartRadio on my phone, so I booted up the app. I quickly found Tove Lo Radio, which sounded like exactly what I needed. It was.
I think the third song that played was The Mother We Share by Chvrches. As soon as I heard the opening notes, a sense of relief flooded me. This was the very same song I listened to two years ago, when I had my panic attack and I happened to be reading Where She Went by Gayle Forman. Where She Went is the sequel to If I Stay, and it picks up where If I Stay left off – Mia Hall wakes up from her coma after the car accident and pretty much heads off to Julliard pretty much without a backward glance at her boyfriend, Adam Wilde.
As the book is told from Adam’s point of view, the reader is able to see how he felt when Mia’s accident happened, and how he copes with life in the aftermath. He fell into a deep spell of anxiety and depression, and I was able to relate to it because that’s exactly how I felt at the time I was reading it. His coping methods may have been a different story, but I wasn’t about to judge him for that.
Hearing “The Mother We Share” last night brought me back to the comfort I felt with Adam and reading about what he went through after Mia’s accident. He lifted me up when I was down two years ago, and he did it again last night.
If there’s one thing Ed Sheeran is good for – besides being a generally amazing musician and human being, of course – it’s reminding me what I want in life. From what I’ve heard of his new album, Divide, I love it. But “Barcelona” really strikes a cord.
I’ve always enjoyed Spanish. In fact, it was my minor at one point, but due to circumstances that weren’t completely in my control, it unfortunately fell through.
Naturally, I was in a funk about it for awhile; I still felt that I could do it, even though it might be stressful. It was stressful while I was doing it, sure. But I didn’t give up because I love it, and I don’t give up on things I love easily. I was considering staying on after graduation to get the minor, but I have since decided not to.
Because “Barcelona” reminds me that Spanish is so much more than a minor. I can go to multiple countries where Spanish is what the majority of the population speaks. I’m definitely planning to go to Spain someday. The title of this post actually translates to “I will be in Spain”.
And I can use it for a lot of other things too. Lately, I’ve been scattering phrases in my writing, and I’ve even got some fanfic in the works where the characters are going to go to Spain.
Notice I didn’t say one thing about teaching it. There’s a huge misconception that when someone studies a language – including English, which happens to be my major – they want to be a teacher. Teaching is not at the top of my dream job list. It doesn’t even make the list at all.
That’s not to say I’m completely opposed to teaching; I’ve had some amazing teachers and professors throughout my academic career. It’s just not necessarily what I see myself doing. There are lots of other things people can do with languages.
So, if Ed Sheeran ends up reading this someday, I just want to say thanks. Thanks for giving me perspective and helping me realize that graduating without a Spanish minor isn’t the end of the world. I don’t have to stop learning it, and I won’t. I really appreciate it.
1998. I was four years old. Disney’s remake of The Parent Trap starring Lindsay Lohan came out. And I was obsessed with it.
My mom and I were reminiscing one day, and we happened to talk about the movie. Which brought up my favorite scene and my favorite song.
I wanted to be Lindsay Lohan. Specifically, I wanted to be Hallie. Trade places with my long-lost twin sister, hang out with my mom at one of her photo shoots and photo bomb the bride? Um, YES PLEASE!
The song in the photo shoot scene is “Never Let You Go” by Jakaranda. Lately, I’ve been listening to it nonstop. I tried to download it, but it’s not on iTunes, so I have to play it through YouTube. It’s annoying.
Even though I love the song now as much as I did back then, it’s bittersweet. It reminds me of the innocence I once had. I had a good relationship with my mom. I was happy.
As I’ve gotten older, my relationship with my mom – both my parents for that matter – has been strained. We don’t see eye to eye, and we have trouble communicating in general.
How do I reclaim my innocence? Is it even possible? I want it to be. I really want it to be.
Last night, I was able to see The 1975 in concert, along with the Strumbellas, BROODS, and Fitz & The Tantrums. They were at Old Dominion’s Ted Constant Convocation Center in Norfolk, Virginia. It was amazing; I definitely have some new music and bands to check out. I put most of it on my Snapchat Story. I couldn’t get all of it because my phone was dying. In fact, it died while I was adding The 1975’s “Chocolate” to my snap story. And then my favorite song from their new album (I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it), “The Sound” came on right after it! I was so disappointed. The good news is, The 1975 is coming back in the fall. Hopefully it’s not while I’m in school so I can score some tickets.
Throw it back to 2010: spring semester of my freshman year in high school. The FIFA World Cup was in Africa. I remember watching part of it in Spanish class – in Spanish, of course.